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YOU'VE got the whole world in your team.
This parody of the modern English cricket side, made popular by The Fanatics during previous Ashes series, seems more appropriate than ever after the unveiling of England's Ashes squad this week.
England's selectors have opted to include Boyd Rankin, who represented his native Ireland at the 2007 and 2011 World Cups, as well as Gary Ballance, the nephew of Dave Houghton and a former Zimbabwean under-19 representative, in their touring squad. They join a foreign legion that includes the South Africa-born trio of Kevin Pietersen, Jonathon Trott and Matt Prior.
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England have made a habit of recruiting foreign players over the last decade including Darren Pattinson, the brother of current Australian fast bowler James Pattinson, for the Headingley Test against South Africa in 2008.
The younger Pattinson has previously stated that the abuse levelled at Darren from inside the England camp for "defecting" has provided ample motivation ahead of his previous duels with the old enemy. He was more diplomatic when assessing the current England squad, however.
"There's a few of them there, isn't there?" Pattinson said. "Obviously they're fantastic players, they've come through the development squad in England so they've done all the work with the English boys."
Family aside, Pattinson has ample experience of the free movement of labour within modern international cricket. Fawad Ahmed, born in Pakistan and Australia's newest limited overs spinner, is Pattinson's teammate with Victoria.
Pattinson's Australian teammate, Steve Smith, was similarly reluctant to criticise England's selection policies.
"They've obviously come through the system and have qualified to play for England now," Smith said. "So you've just got to put up with it.
"I've seen a few of them play. Gary Ballance, one of the new guys, got a hundred against us in the tour match at Northampton, so he obviously can play a fair bit. Boyd Rankin played in the one-day series, so I saw a bit of him. They've obviously got some good young players coming through, and people that we'll probably have to look to target if they get a game."
Matt Wade, meanwhile, supported coach Darren Lehmann's push for Australia to produce an entertaining style of play. Lehmann raised the ire of elements within English cricket this week by describing their approach to the game as "dour", but Wade was supportive of his coach's approach.
"Boof obviously encourages us to express ourselves on the cricket field, and play the way we want to play, (which is to) be exciting and entertaining," Wade said. "That's the brand of cricket he's after and that's what he's going for especially in our team.
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"I'm not sure about his comments about England being dour and boring – they're a good cricket team, that's for sure. They've just beaten us in the Ashes so we're going to have to play some good cricket to win the Ashes here."
Brett Lee, Lehmann's former teammate, described the coach's comments as pre-series gamesmanship.
"When you talk about the Ashes … there's going to be a bit of stick thrown around the media," Lee said. "We all know how it works.
"As long as no one crosses the line, which Darren certainly hasn't … he's just trying to get one up on the Poms, I think."
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