Geeves on Boxing Day Test: day two

Written By Unknown on Kamis, 27 Desember 2012 | 18.48

Tradition ... some big names got involved in the great Aussie past-time at the MCG. Source: Wayne Ludbey / News Limited

Former Australia and Tasmania all-rounder Brett Geeves gives his unique take on the action from the MCG, this time choosing to focus on the great Australian traditions of beer snakes, a run-scoring captain and lending a player to the other team.

There are a few traditions that must be followed, by the bogan who lingers in all males, when attending a cricket match.

It seems that over the years, these traditions have had a few additions that make me glad I no longer attend games of cricket for the sole purpose of being festive.

You see, back when I was a boy, you went to the cricket with a group of your best chums, made a beer snake out of all your empties and proudly walked it around the ground as a sign to any attending females, that you would be worthy of taking home to meet with parents.

Looking at the pictures of the day one crowd, it is apparent that you are no longer allowed to wear a shirt when putting together your snake. If you are going to wear one, you are not allowed to do the buttons up, ensuring that everyone can see how ripped you are. Because showing more skin than the amount in Buffalo Bills skin room, is cool.

Of course, there is a large element of jealousy to me saying this, as I have the body mass of a full grown panda.

What else stood out is that you can no longer attend the cricket without a touch of bravado to your demeanor. This is an angry society we live in and unless you can handle this, you would be best suited to watch from the air conditioned members area where it is expected you will not wear your pants as a hat.

A few of the AFL boys found themselves in a spot of bother on day one whilst enjoying a beer snake at the cricket.

You must forgive two of the boys; Mark of The Year winner Jeremy Howe and Ricky Petterd, for they are Tasmanians. In Tasmania, if you attend the cricket and don't partake in a snake building exercise, you have failed your duties as a man. Punishment for this is harsh; pull the cart for a week allowing the horse to take a breather and then cough up your "top" rights, swapping ends with your sister, forcing you to "tail".

Dane Anderson. Source: Supplied

Take a look at the picture of former Tasmanian Tiger, Dane Anderson - this beer snake is a lesson in longevity.

The photo was taken on day one of the Sheffield Shield Final in 05/06 - 1pm. Dane was first to arrive at the ground at 9:45am and was also first man served, 10:00am. He was refused service at 1:15pm and kicked out of the arena at 2:00pm. Sadly, this is not an assumption.


Right now you have to feel for the Sri Lankan cricket team. They lost their preferred keeper, Prasanna Jayawardene, for the match to a thumb injury. This has forced Sangakarra to don the gloves and it may have cost them a proper crack at winning this game and ultimately, the series.

Sangakarra is a terrific gloveman and is more than capable at this level. He has kept for Sri Lanka in some 50-odd games. But only yesterday I heard Ian Healy say that, right now, Jayawardene is the best gloveman in the world!

Would he have taken the chance off Watson late on day one? The stumping of Clarke on day two? Would that have had an impact on Australia's first innings total?

To make matters worse for The Lankans, Welegedera has pinged a string and will take no further part in the game.

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Losing a quick is tough. We saw what this did to Siddle and Hilfenhaus when Pattinson went down in Adelaide and again in Hobart when Hilfenhaus strained his side.

An increase in bowler workloads takes away from their effectiveness late in the day and then of course, late in the game.

A common saying you will hear from top order batsmen is - cash in when the bowlers are entering their third and fourth spells. This is easier to do when the opposition team is a bowler down - those third and fourth spells seem to come around a lot quicker.

Australia were fortunate in Hobart that Watson was able to bowl some extended spells and has the ability to be both a wicket taker and a defensive man. Sri Lanka do not have that option - in the most part because Watson plays for Australia and when asked to swap teams, he said "No".


Someone stop Michael Clarke. Seriously, stop him in the street and ask him his secrets. If he begins to tell you his personal secrets, you should stop him, unless you work for a women's magazine or have a fetish for other people's secrets.

I'm not much of a stats man, but it is fair to say that being the leader of Australian cricket has been tremendous for Michael Clarke's on-field performances. How does the saying go? Happy wife, drinks with the lads down the course? Or happy life? Or something like that.

Clarke is pushing the boundary of being the best since Bradman. He eclipsed a record set by RT Ponting, for the most runs by an Australian in a calendar year. Eclipsing any record set by RT Ponting will get you the punishment in Tasmania and also have people saying your the best since The Don. 

Of course, The Don used a fence paling, plastic gloves and faced the fastest bowler the world has ever seen in Harold Larwood. The Don also walked home in the snow, wearing plastic ... we know where this is going...


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